đź“ŚUNDERSTANDING THE POWER OF GUILT
You may be asking yourself… “Is it normal to experience guilt after an abuse?”
Researcher and shame expert Brené Brown defines guilt as “I did something bad.”This is distinct from shame which is “I am bad.”
She notes that “guilt is just as powerful as shame, but its influence is positive.” When we feel guilty about what we did, we can use that discomfort to motivate change in our choices and actions.
Guilt is different from other emotions because it comes as a result of our own actions; it is the disconnection between what we’ve done (or failed to do) and our personal values.
When we turn to self-criticism and judgment, comparison, or self-doubt, we let in the guilt. If we stay in this feeling we are no longer able to love our children with our whole hearts.
When we recognise our guilty feelings and choose to learn from them, and we have a real chance at making better choices in the future. The good news is that dealing with guilt is entirely so very doable… especially with the support of a certified marriage coach.