3 Simply Effective Techniques for Resolving Marital Conflict

Conflict frequently develops because we do not always accurately interpret another person’s conduct or words. It requires some communication talent to accomplish so. Some people were raised in households where communication skills were modelled, discussed, and developed over time hence the find problem solving easy.

 

As a consequence, they now have an instinctive understanding of how to effectively manage conflict and strive toward resolution. Others, on the other hand, were less enthusiastic lucky, and must now learn how to work through disagreement via trial and error.

 

The good news is that skills in conflict resolution may be learned. However, you must first determine which abilities are the most successful and then intentionally practice them with the relationships that are most essential to you. To get you started, here are three effective conflict resolution skills.

 

 

1. Empathy

Empathy is a visceral emotion that shows sensitivity and understanding. Strong negative sentiments might constitute a barrier to communication; this barrier help to alleviate the sensations of those negative sentiments. In such instant, empathy is the solution. Empathy is the ability to properly detect what the other person is feeling at the time. It entails listening beyond the words and reflecting on one’s emotions.

 

Here is a useful formula for communicating with empathy: You are experiencing (feeling) as a result of (circumstance).

 

 

Empathy examples:

• You are disheartened because the conduct you see in me keeps repeating itself.
• You are insulted and irritated by my attempts to “fix” you.
• You are ecstatic about your new chances for advancement at work.
• You appear happy when people acknowledge your abilities.

 

 

2. Investigation

The purpose of investigation is to ask questions in order to learn more about what is going on. Assumption has destroyed so many marriages and families. It is vital to seek clarity by asking question in any matter you are unsure rather than point fingers or conclude on the matter based on perceived information. Open inquiries focus on the general circumstances, ideas, responses, and feelings of the other person. They have a tendency to encourage conversation. Closed inquiries focus on specific facts or features of the other person’s situation, eliciting “yes” or “no” responses.

 

Investigation examples:

• Do you believe I am being reasonable in making this decision?
• You say I am obstinate. What effect does my stubbornness have on you?
• Do you wish to speak or not?
• I get a feeling you don’t want to chat. Could you please tell me how you’re feeling right now?

 

When delving into a vast topic, open inquiries are advised. Closed questions can be used to intersperse specific data or to break short extensive, irrelevant explanations. The second and fourth question above are open ended and allows for more expression which permits for conflict resolution. In any instance, listening to the answer and reacting sensitively are critical components of the questioning process. Caution is advised while asking “why” queries. “Why are you always so pessimistic?” This frequently place the other person in defensive mood, and they may also voice their displeasure or criticism.

 

3. Self–disclosure

Self-disclosure demonstrates your efforts to provide people with insight into who you are. It is sharing something about oneself that is directly related to the conversation: your own views, attitudes, values, or a prior incident. Self–disclosure can alleviate anxiety by telling the other person that he or she is not alone in his or her feelings or concerns.

 

Self-disclosure examples:

• During a period of despair, I found it difficult to accomplish even the most basic tasks.
• Whenever you speak back at me for no reason, I feel belittled.
• Just like you, I never felt like anybody embraced me for who I was.
• Others used to make fun of my weight when I was a kid, so I know what it’s like to stick out in a crowd.

 

Self-disclosure is beneficial in connecting with others who are dealing with similar issues or worries in their lives. Caution: overusing this answer is counterproductive since it draws attention to oneself rather than the other person. It can be seen as a method for attracting attention. For the greatest impact, use sparingly.