Emotional pain and loss from martial conflict can be healed.

Everyone comes to a point in their lives when they must decide whether to maintain a connection with a friend, partner, or family member. You consider how much you are supposed to take from another person. In the past, you have always considered his justifying circumstances and endured his verbal abuse.

You wonder if it is ever acceptable for anyone, no matter what their circumstances, to put up with your character being violently harmed. Is it ever acceptable to enable another person to dismiss and destroy your dreams? Is it ever acceptable for someone to continuously take advantage of you and never reciprocate?

There are some instances in which you are unable to consider leaving the relationship. You could have a mentally unstable parent who regularly calls you names. You might not be able to move out and pay for your father’s care. In any event, if you were in this situation, you would require a lot of help and rest.

Reasons why you may tolerate someone crossing the line:

 

1. You may not believe you have the right to stand up for yourself; that it is your role to be the emotional punching bag that takes unlimited hits to your psyche. This might be a part you’ve played in your family.

 

2. You feel you are the only person in this abusive person’s life, and that if you leave, he would commit suicide.

 

3. You’re not sure where the line should be drawn. Is making derogatory remarks about your “lack of intelligence” enough to end the relationship, or would this be unjust?

 

4. You feel that if you end the connection, your view of yourself would deteriorate. You believe that putting your wants first is always the wrong thing to do; that this is a selfish behavior.

 

 

Put an end to a toxic connection

1. The end of this toxic connection may teach the emotionally abusive individual that not everyone will tolerate her personally focused rage. It may force her to reconsider her actions.

 

2. Making this significant adjustment may boost your self-esteem.

 

3. It may offer you a sense of empowerment you weren’t aware of previously.

 

4. You may accept the fact that you don’t have to let anyone direct their wrath at you.

 

Steps to follow if you’re thinking about leaving an abusive relationship:

1. Determine whether or not you have been emotionally abused. Do you cringe or have another bodily reaction when you think about the remarks and tone this person has used when humiliating you? Do you get numbness when interacting with him? Is your numbness an instinctive attempt to distance yourself from his nasty spirit? What do you imagine life would be like if you didn’t have the terrible memories/negative bodily reactions? Is it as though a load has been lifted? Do you feel more secure?

 

2. Consider how your life would be different if you didn’t have to interact with this individual. You may be so trained to accept her abuse that you are oblivious to anything else the mental preparation required to confront issues. You may be unaware of how tiring the process of accepting abuse and enabling it is.

 

3. Prepare to inform the spouse that if he does not change his offensive conduct, you will stop the relationship. This will take a great deal of bravery and planning. You must be prepared for the potential of a negative reaction. If they reply in a dismissive or rageful manner that is a strong indication that it is time to go. This is a decision that you must make for yourself and no one else after due consideration.

4. Discuss this issue with others in your support network.

Friends and family members may be able to give valuable input. It is preferable to communicate your confusion about this than to keep it pent up and isolated.

 

5. There is no shame in seeking the assistance of a therapist to help you review the possibility of a repair or get through your trauma where inevitable. We may all benefit from chatting with an objective, qualified, and experienced therapist to help us gain perspective. The therapist can also help you relate early childhood memories to current difficulties with an abusive partner, friend, or family member. Letting go of this abusive individual will teach you to love yourself and feel free for the first time, maybe for the first time in your life.