How to move from “my” to “our”?
“YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO”
When it comes to your marriage, I would say, “YOU ARE WHAT YOU DO.” The TIME spent with your spouse determines the strength of your marriage. When you spend it together and you feel connected. Do your own thing too often and you might sleep in the same bed, but you’ll feel worlds apart.
When you were dating or at the beginning of your marriage, you probably had no trouble spending lots of time together doing just about anything.
Many couples are very good at coordinating compatible lives. He’s got his routine. She’s got her routine. You can achieve compatibility with this, which is not a bad thing, but you won’t have a good marriage, except you align routines to accommodate each other. You might manage your family fine, but your marriage relationship will NOT be fulfilling. And you’ll be lonely.
A strong marriage requires a “Move from My to Our.” Love requires SPENDING TIME TOGETHER and being involved in each other’s lives. It’s not about being independent; it’s about being successfully INTERdependent.
Do you remember when you used to visit each other at work? Meet each other’s family and friends? Help solve each other’s problems? Ask each other’s opinions? Learn about each other’s interests? That’s the ticket!
Of course, I know this doesn’t sound appealing if your marriage is on the rocks but which is the cause and which is the effect? The answer is: involvement or interdependence is one of the primary ingredients for a successful marriage.
You see couples grow apart when they are not connected. You no longer share passions anymore and you are living separate lives. If you want to make your marriage work, you can USE EACH OTHER’S PASSIONS to create a connection.
Think about it. How could I get more involved in my spouse’s life?
Get interested in each other’s passion and participate in it in order to move “from my to our.”
Getting involved does not necessarily mean that you have to do the activity together. It could mean that you watch the activity, plan for it, pack for it, budget for it, buy supplies for it, or research it in preparation for discussion.
How you get involved depends on you, your spouse, and your interest. There are endless possibilities. The goal is to GET INVOLVED in some way so your spouse’s interest becomes part of your life too.
The key is personal involvement, not utility. It’s not about improving anything except your marriage.
I work with you to find meaningful ways for you and your spouse to get involved in each other’s lives. Once you find those ways, it’s like magic. Book a free 30 minutes consultation call here: https://bit.ly/free-30mins