Unknown Nightmare causes of Conflict in Noted Marriages

Some Common Marriage Conflicts – Face the red flags

The causes of marital conflict in Nigeria are enormous, however, we have highlighted a few in this article. Some common causes of typical marital disputes – Don’t ignore these red flags; address them.

1. Causes of Conflicts in Marriage in Nigeria – Expectations that are not met – unrealistic expectations

Expectations – both unfulfilled and sometimes unrealistic – can cause big disagreements in marriages. One spouse believes the other is a mind reader and has similar expectations.

 

• When things and events don’t go the way we expect them to, frustration creeps in.
• Partners lash out at their spouses over a disagreement about lifestyle choices, staycation vs. vacation, budgeting vs. living it up, complaining about a lack of appreciation, family expectations, sharing household chores, or even not supporting their spouse’s career choices in ways imagined by the irritated spouse.

 

Finding a happy medium, a common ground, is not something that a couple discovers on their own, however, the knowledge of who you are and who your spouse is, can help you discover yourself. It takes discipline and a conscious effort to avoid burning bridges with your partner, especially if you are married. But you’d want to do it to avoid major heartburn and enduring, devastating marital resentment.

 

2. Causes of Conflicts in Marriage in Nigeria – Inability to manage marriage finances

Unresolved financial issues in marriage may disrupt the foundation of even the most solid relationships.

Money problems may ruin a marriage and lead directly to divorce! According to research, 22 percent of divorces are related to marital economics, following closely behind causes such as adultery and incompatibility.

Not fully disclosing your financial status to your partner, going overboard on wedding day celebrations, alimony, or a child support issue from a prior marriage are all big offenders in placing a strain on your marriage.

A difference in temperaments, such as one partner being a frugal spender while the other is a big spender, a significant shift in financial priorities and preferences, and a seething sense of resentment of a working spouse towards the non-working, non-contributive, financially dependent spouse all contribute to marital conflict.

If you suspect that you and your spouse have divergent financial objectives or that there are significant disparities in your spending patterns, the easiest way out is to have a budgeting notebook accessible. And, as a general rule, don’t keep secrets! These two behaviors, like any good habits that are tough to establish but simple to keep, will provide long-term advantages in your marriage and help you resolve conflicts

3. Incompatibility in sexual relationships – Another cause of Marriage Conflicts in Nigeria

Misaligned sexual desires, in which you have a stronger desire to have sex more frequently than your less inclined spouse, can cause a schism between you and your partner.

Work stress, home obligations, low body confidence, intimacy inhibitions, and a lack of honest sexual communication are just a few of the real, pressing concerns that contribute to marital strife. When you scratch the surface, you will notice that developing emotional intimacy with your spouse and embracing other types of intimacy are essential for enjoying sexual closeness and bonding with your mate.

The significance of arranging sex and going on weekly date evenings cannot be overstated. It is quite beneficial to engage in an open-ended conversation with your partner. Cuddling up with your partner and discussing your sexual wishes and dreams, as well as vocalizing your honest attempts to satisfy your partner’s sexual needs, is an excellent preliminary to developing sexual compatibility with your spouse.

4 . Time allotted to marriage and personal pursuits

You have the same 24 hours as you did when you were single or unattached, but how do you devote time to yourself, work, personal interests, friends, family, and the most recent addition to your life – your spouse? And now that you’ve been spared the unwanted but helpful counsel of your friends and family – marriage is effort – you’re faced with the difficult chore of maintaining your marriage.

 

Did you mention you were exhausted?

 

Marriage comes with its own set of CRRs (Cardinal Responsibility Regions). But don’t let it become a mental drudgery.

Take responsibility for your part of home chores, follow your personal interests, and urge your spouse to do the same, emphasizing the benefits of engaging in productive hobbies. Create a formula together for spending exclusive time with your partner, notwithstanding the length.

You don’t have to strain your neck all day, be hooked to your phone, or spend the entire day staring at each other like a pumpkin. Keep the phone and other types of distractions at a safe distance. Pay close attention to your spouse, give fascinating tales, and sustain intermittent, appropriately timed conversation throughout the day.

5. Differing viewpoints on the issue of children

Children are an excellent asset to any household. However, the same children who are viewed as an extension of themselves can be a source of significant marital problems. One partner may feel compelled to expand the family, while the other may choose to postpone the decision until they feel more financially secure.

 

• Parenting is not without its difficulties, and there may be opposing viewpoints on educating, saving for future education, and establishing a line between what is a required, non-negotiable reproductive expense and what is unnecessary.

While both parents want the best for their kid, there is a need to consider other household responsibilities, the child’s best interests, contingency reserves, and the possibility of augmenting family income.

A little kindness in how you view your spouse’s desire to provide the best for your kid also helps. You claim it’s easier said than done in the heat of an argument. But it’s certainly worth aiming for marital joy and a safe environment for your child.

6. Communication breakdown

Do you ever find yourself speaking things you subsequently regret and wish you had avoided? And if you’re not the confrontational kind and like to let things alone, this boiling, simmering passive hostility will catch up with you like a nemesis. It will erupt in your face in the shape of an unpleasant fight with your spouse.

In either case, you are setting yourself up for a romantic tragedy.

Silent treatment, opposition to your spouse’s point of view and choices, passive-aggressive behavior, choosing an improper time and location to conduct the talk, and a sense of menace in your voice all contribute to marital conflict.

How can you overcome a marital disagreement when there are so many obstacles to free-flowing communication? Approach marital communication with a problem-solving mindset. Defensively, do not try to make a point. Recognize and accept your role in the conflict. Only seek clarification after you have listened carefully to your partner. Setting expectations is a wonderful way to prevent false impressions.

Don’t use stonewalling or shutting down. Take a little break to collect and digest the sequence of events and your thoughts. Nonverbal communication cues might help you strengthen your relationship with your partner. An affirmative nod and a relaxed body posture indicate your desire to engage in an open-ended, relationship-building conversation.

Finally, it is critical to address the absolute non-negotiables. Determine your critical deal-breakers for marital pleasure.

7. Loss of novelty

Problems originating from a ‘living apart but together’ scenario in marriage, incompatibility, perceived irreparable differences, and love lost between couples who drifted apart over time — these are the grounds for marital strife.

However, if the couple has a strong feeling of willingness and exerts an equal amount of effort to be together, the road to dispute resolution in marriage becomes a little simpler to navigate.

8. Misaligned dynamics and unbalanced power dynamics in personalities

Both spouses in a marriage are equal equivalents. However, this thought is frequently consigned to the realm of the fantastic. Couples frequently have drastically mismatched dynamics, with one person being a dominating spouse and the other subservient partner in such an equation always cooperating as a caregiver to their spouse. This causes resentment to build up and an unfair, unhealthy powerplay, causing a marriage to fall apart.

There is an urgent need for marriage therapy in such a skewed spousal equation. A marital counselor can help both parties put things into perspective. A marriage therapist can help the submissive partner realize the value of assertiveness and respect for self.

Furthermore, they will provide light on the harm, known or unknown, that the manipulative or abusive spouse inflicts on their stressed partner. Following this revelation, the therapy can then go on to remedial actions to settle the marital disputes and resuscitate the partnership.