YOU BE CULPRIT OH!
“You must be home at 6pm, no excuses.”
“You are not permitted to join any social media handle.”
These and more are the questions and statements from a husband to a wife in this 21st century.
I am not making this up. This is a wife’s real life experience. Now, before you begin to cast stones at the man, have you paused to ponder what could make this man be like this?
On one occasion, he asked his children “Where did your mum go today?”
I tell you, there could be a thousand and one reasons why this is happening, of which the wife might even be a factor.
However, it is clear that controlling Behaviour stems from fear or insecurity. Most people enter marriage with a deep fear of rejection, and this fear motivates various forms of controlling behaviour.
Your fear and insecurity might be the real culprit.
Controlling behaviour falls into two major categories: overt control and covert control. Overt control includes many forms of attack, such as blaming anger, rage, violence, judgement, criticism and ridicule. Covert control includes compliance, enabling, withdrawal, defending, explaining, lying and denying.
Often the spouse at the other end of attack will respond with some form of covert control in an attempt to have control over not being attacked. This is some of the reasons you find married people hiding things from their spouse because they lack the knowledge of the best way to avoid this control. Controlling behaviour always results in resentment and emotional distance, bringing about the very rejection that it is meant to avoid.
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