Your marriage problems & satisfaction: Hiding is not an option

Are your marital problems REALLY getting you worked up?

Truth is that they do and have a high tendency to affect your overall productivity. There are two main ways to handle your marriage problems. You can either choose to FACE it or HIDE from it.

This is exactly the same as any other problem in life. The choice is yours to make but the irony of this choice is that couples who hide from their problems seek quick RELIEF, but end up in PAIN while couples who face their issues experience pain, but end up with long-term lasting relief. 

Let me explain

No problem goes away because you choose to hide from it instead it GETS WORSE and EVENTUALLY costs more to deal with. For instance, your car will continue to leak oil until you finally say, “Okay, I’ll deal with this.” Then, and only then, will you get a lasting solution?

Problems come to us in life in order to fix the things about ourselves that need fixing and our marriage is not an exemption.

In other words, your marriage crisis is not coincidental. It was not just bad luck. It’s like the car leakage; it’s reflective of a problem that needs correcting. It’s a sign that you have a weakness that needs work. If you ignore it, the pain will increase until you finally say, “Okay, I’ll deal with this.”

Recently I had private sessions with a lady who felt that her marriage crisis was her husband’s fault. She explained why and, in fact, I could see her point but I know for a fact from experience that marital issues are ALWAYS dual responsibility. So I asked her, “In what way do you think you might have contributed to this problem?”

“No, I have not contributed in any way” she responded, “It’s my husband’s fault”

“I see, how then have you tried to correct those faults”

“I shout back when he does and right now most times I just blank out,” he said, “I am tired”

“How has this method helped you in resolving the issues?” I inquired.

“I end up getting a beating or we stay for 2 weeks out without speaking to each other” she explained.

This went on and on until she revealed a clear history of hurt and not getting healing. In other words, she had a leaking car (unhealed pain) , but she ignored it all. It was always someone else’s fault and here we go again…Another episode of pain and it will continue until SHE fixes the problem WITHIN HIMSELF.

It’s your spouse’s fault. I know. But your marital situation is reflective of some inner work that YOU have to do too. If you don’t do it; you’ll find yourself in this same situation again. It may not be with the same person, the details may not be immediately recognizable, but I promise you that the pain will not relent until you deal with whatever it is about YOU that’s bringing this stress into your life. Face it. Don’t hide.

It’s not the snake bite that’s the problem; it’s running from the snake that pumps venom to your heart…that’s the problem.

When you do not heal from the pain of life and accept them, you end up bleeding on people who never wronged you. The worst pain comes from avoidance. The healing magic is ATTENTION. The only way out of your suffering is THROUGH IT.

Your marriage problems are transformations trying to happen. 

I know it’s your spouse’s fault but whatever is their fault is reflective of their work. The question for you is: What’s your fixing? What role did you play in all this? And what can YOU do to improve the situation?

Don’t say that you need your spouse to fix the problems. That could be wishful thinking, first become the change you desire to see.

There are two basic ways to fix your marriage problems: you can either hide or face it. If you choose to face it then book a free 30 minutes consultation call here: https://bit.ly/free-30mins